Last month, we ended our Pride celebration with a bang by asking our Instagram followers to vote for their favorite LGBTQ+ horror icons. It was an incredible three-day tournament, which started with eight queer contenders. But in the end, only one could reign supreme. You may find the wiener...I mean...the winner -- surprising.
Round 1: Bracket 1
Tampon-tossing Norma (PJ Soles) isn't necessarily out and proud in 1976's Carrie. Nonetheless, she's become a favorite among LGBTQ viewers, who often detect lesbian undertones in her ongoing conflicts with overly involved gym teacher, Rita, and her defiant tomboy fashion sense (that red baseball cap never comes off -- not even at the ill-fated prom). You might even say, then, that it's sheer poetic justice for a bad ass bully dyke to be killed off by a hose. It's a very phallic way to die, but in the end, it's Paranorman's fresh-from-the-closet Mitch who ends up all wet. He may be the first out character in an animated feature, but he still couldn't eke out a win against Norma.
Round 1: Bracket 2
This bracket features what I've called unintended icons -- although, there's still quite a debate whether the homosexual 'undertones' of Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (and its male scream queen, Jesse Walsh) were truly accidental. Purely accidental, however, was the hilarious Netflix SNAFU that inadvertently labeled The Babadook as an LGBTQ interest movie. Whether human error or a misfiring algorithm, this innocent glitch propelled this Mr. Babadook from dastardly, minimalist nightmare fuel to utter queer fabulocity. Such notoriety made this relative horror newcomer pretty unstoppable in bracket 2. Sorry, Jesse. Just as Freddy once said, 'Daddy can't help you now.'
Round 1: Bracket 3
French horror is among my favorite. From older classics like Diabolique and Les yeux sans visage to recent notables like Martyrs and Raw, France has almost always brought its horror A-game. So bracket 3 was easy to fill. From Stranger by the Lake, we have the dashing MIchel, a could-be Tom of Finland model who instead uses his good looks to seduce unwitting gay cruisers to their ultimate demise. In what was probably the most surprising defeat of the entire tournament, High Tension's undercover slasher, Marie was unable to slash her way against her mustachioed opponent. It's enough to drive a girl-crazy girl crazy. Lucky for Marie, though. She was already there.
Round 1: Bracket 4
For me, this round was a tough one. Speaking of tough, who doesn't love Private Vasquez from Aliens? Even I had a crush on her when I was younger -- and, by younger, I mean a few seconds ago when I caught a glimpse of her picture down below. With her big gun and her big non-anatomical balls, Vasquez gave even Ellen Ripley a run for her money in terms of badassery. But, though she almost held her own against the acid-blooded xenomorphs, it was an uphill battle when squaring off against a little girl with a littler secret. So, as much as I love Vasquez, I'm glad things turned out as they did. After all, Angela's the Cocktail Party Massacre icon and the tragic star of one of our all-time favorite movies, Sleepaway Camp.
So how did the rest of the tourney pan out? Here's the recap!
Semifinals: Bracket 5
When it came down to red cap vs. top hat, newcomer Mr. Babdook hosed the competition.
Semifinals: Bracket 6
Sure, Michel can swim circles around aquaphobic Angela -- but this wasn't a swim meet. Angela sunk her mustachioed competition.
'Meet me by the waterfront after the social.'
There were no real losers in this tourney...I mean, except for the seven folks who didn't win -- including Mr. Babadook in the final round. It was a photo finish, with a few voters casting ballots moments before polls closed.